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Wish for the New Year

For you all in this new year I wish the following:

Needed gifts, on-time delivery, clear voices, thoughts to match the ages, one clear true impression of yourself as a young wo/man, that impression filtered through all the wisdom of the ages you wished you knew, that impression free even of all other impressions and thus totally and uniquely your own, mountaintop air as clear as a bell, the timeless sound-energy of the last sixth-grade bell braying out the freedom of summer’s long now all restored from the unforgetting universal mind, that fully-charged Sprint calling card you so desperately needed on 21 September 1991, the full waking dreaming of your present time, a ringing phone (someone is calling, from far away), a nice hutch for your dishes, whatever was going through your mother’s mind that time she hit you so you will at last understand and give up that one moment’s last poisoned gravity, everything you understandably forgot about the Christmas the year you got your first real kiss, a free upgrade, a two-dollar cable bill, a garage door that fucking works, the rancid black heart of what’s wrong with America so you can smash it to festering pieces and build the gleaming shining thing you were taught always lies within, a nice piece of fish, all the promise and presence you forgot in junior high school, lean protein, the voice you most desperately need to hear at the penultimate moment of its most supreme value, the quiet moment in the little alcove with the copier that will be just enough to keep you from going crazy until you can go home, someone who needs you, someone who does not need you, several funny calendars, promises kept, a soft bed, supreme and unquestionable knowledge that the afternoon in high school (or perhaps it was college, it being a long time ago now) that you stood in the hallway and everyone parted for you as great rivers do for cataracts of rock and you wondered if you were seen at all or it was simple autonomic action keeping an entire living organism flowing around you that the sudden desperate loss you felt was not at all a harbinger of a great failure that waited for you nor a judgment of all of society at once abruptly directed solely at you but was merely one of those confluences of quantum chance that suddenly aligns all things great and small and then passes with no more substance than a cloud’s shadow, a sunny afternoon’s unshakeable sense that everything is fine and will always be, a sunset sky full of mare’s tails, snow seen through a window, clean sheets, and milk.

Briefly, above

Briefly, above

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One comment on “Wish for the New Year

  1. Lovely writing.

    I’ll take a smattering of that. I don’t need the lot of it.

    For you, D, I wish a full embrace of the present moment in all its messy glory.

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